White House Unveils ‘Media Offender of the Week’ Page To Target ‘Fake News,’ Somehow Leaves Fox News Off the List

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House website debuted a new section Friday called ‘Media Offender of the Week,’ a page dedicated to publicly shaming journalists for the crime of reporting things Trump actually said and did—also known as “their jobs.”

The page, which greets visitors with the words “Misleading. Biased. Exposed.,” lists the Boston Globe, CBS News, the Independent, and—because reality must die—the Associated Press, widely considered one of the most objective publications on Earth.

Administration officials defended the new page, insisting it was “a vital tool in the fight against journalism.” They heaped praise on the site’s search feature, which allows users to find any story labeled “bias,” “malpractice,” or the deeply scientific category “Left Wing Lunacy.”

The Washington Post currently tops the ‘Fake News’ leaderboard, followed closely by MSNBC and CBS, presumably for the act of covering Trump’s recent Truth Social posts without sanitizing them.

Conspicuously absent from the list is Fox News, an omission the administration attributes to “mathematical necessity,” since naming Fox would break the site’s internal logic where loyalty equals truth.

Journalists noted that the tracker arrives on the heels of Trump calling multiple female reporters “piggy,” “terrible,” and “ugly inside and out,” prompting experts to warn that America may be approaching historically moronic levels of petty authoritarian nonsense.