DOJ Meets Epstein Disclosure Deadline By Releasing 119 Pages of Solid Black Ink

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Justice Department weaseled out of its deadline Friday by releasing a heavily redacted batch of Epstein-related documents that experts confirmed contained “almost no usable information whatsoever,” except for a striking number of photos of Bill Clinton and an impressive quantity of black rectangles.

Despite the New York grand jury records consisting of 119 straight pages of solid black ink, officials clarified that the rest of the document dump was slightly more informative—featuring photographs where nearly every face was obscured and handwritten notes with entire names blotted out.

White House officials described the approach as “victim-conscious transparency,” explaining that it was important to protect identities while still technically releasing something before Congress could respond.

Notably, the administration took special care to include multiple unredacted photos of Bill Clinton, ensuring the public remained properly focused on a man who has not held office in nearly three decades. DOJ officials stressed that the emphasis on Clinton was purely coincidental and absolutely not an effort to redirect attention away from Donald Trump.

“The American people demanded answers,” said Attorney General Pam Bondi. “And we’ve delivered a powerful visual metaphor for how government works.”