Funded by Losers: Trump’s New Library Sponsored by People Who Couldn’t Beat Him in Court

PALM BEACH — President Donald Trump has officially unveiled plans for the Trump Presidential Library, proudly announcing that it will be 100% funded by people who lost lawsuits against him.

“Only losers pay for libraries. But MY losers pay FOR ME,” Trump boasted during a ribbon-cutting ceremony where the ribbon was made entirely from shredded court documents.

Blueprints for the library reveal multiple exhibits: the Wall of Defamation, featuring headlines that Trump sued into silence; the Settlement Fountain, a waterfall made entirely of lawyer tears; and the Alternative Facts Archive—“where truth is flexible and laminated.”

“It’s the first presidential library in history funded exclusively by DEFEAT,” Trump declared. “Their defeat. Not mine. I’ve never lost. Never.”

According to sources, each lawsuit that helped fund the project will scroll proudly along the walls in a nonstop ticker known as ‘The Loser Crawl.’

“It’s a monument to my enemies’ incompetence,” Trump explained, adjusting his commemorative “I WON” robe. “This is how real estate works—you flip lawsuits into legacy.”