Trump Claims Everyone Loves His Gaza Plan, Including ‘Several Arabs’ He Just Made Up

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump on Tuesday defended his plan to “relocate all Palestinians and completely renovate Gaza into a 5-star American destination,” insisting the proposal has “universal support,” including from “many Arab leaders” who may or may not exist.

“Everybody loves it,” Trump said while pointing to a map of the Middle East that had been roughly relabeled with phrases like ‘New Florida,’ ‘Israel Classic,’ and ‘Desert Timeshare Zone.’ “I just got off the phone with Prince Falafel al-Sandstorm—he said this was the best idea he’s ever heard, maybe ever. Incredible guy. Very rich. Very tall.”

Pressed for clarification, the White House later admitted that several of the Middle Eastern figures Trump cited were either “composite characters” or “aspirational friends.” One aide described them as “diplomatic fan fiction.”

The president’s plan involves removing 1.8 million Palestinians, “placing them somewhere safe, like… I don’t know, Egypt,” and transforming Gaza into “the Riviera of the Middle East—with golf courses, Chick-fil-As, and a giant bronze statue of me doing the thumbs up.”

Asked about international backlash, Trump was unfazed: “The Germans love it. The Jordanians love it. The Egyptians—eh, they’ll come around. Honestly, they’re just jealous they didn’t think of it first.”

Meanwhile, Senator Rand Paul expressed confusion, tweeting, “I thought we were doing America First, not SimCity: Middle East Edition.”

“America has been humble for too long,” Trump said. “It’s time we gentrify the planet.”