Trump Memecoin Believer Still Holding at $13: “It’s Not a Loss Until You Sell”

TOLEDO — Despite losing tens of thousands of dollars and sleeping in his detached garage “by choice,” local man Greg Harkins says he’s still bullish on Trump’s memecoin.

Harkins, a 48-year-old forklift operator and self-described “digital patriot,” bought into the coin in late January when it hovered around $60, believing it was “about to explode like the 1999 stock market.” The coin, $TRUMP, is now trading at $13.

“I don’t look at it as a crash,” Harkins said, sipping a Coors Banquet beside his unplugged chest freezer. “This is just the dip before the rise. Look it up.”

Asked if he regretted converting his 401(k) and son’s college fund into the coin, Harkins shook his head. “It’s not a loss until you sell—or admit it to your wife,” he said. “And I’ve done neither.”

Harkins has repeatedly tagged Trump on Truth Social, citing his losses and asking for “updated guidance,” from the president. So far, he’s received 38 likes and one reply from someone named “MAGA_Warrior1776” that read simply: “Same, bro.”

Meanwhile, Rep. Sam Liccardo has introduced the MEME Act, a symbolic bill aimed at banning presidents from launching crypto schemes. Harkins opposes the bill, calling it “financial censorship” and “exactly what the lizard bankers want.”

As of press time, Harkins was seen watching a 43-minute YouTube video titled “TrumpCoin: The Comeback.”