Diet Coke Pulled from Danish Shelves Amid Trump Boycott: “It Had a Fascist Aftertaste Anyway”

COPENHAGEN — Denmark’s largest supermarket chain has officially stopped stocking Diet Coke products this week, after consumers demanded relief from what they described as “the taste of Trump in liquid form.”

“Every sip reminded me of tariffs and a man screaming about Greenland on live TV,” said Bo Albertus, a Danish school principal and admin of the Facebook group Boykot varer fra USA, now boasting over 80,000 members. “We’ll survive without Diet Coke. We still have beet juice. It’s red, it’s angry, it’s Danish.”

The boycott comes in response to President Trump’s escalating trade war with Europe, his open threats to “reclaim” Greenland by force, and his alliance with Elon Musk—who made what many Europeans saw as a fascist salute during Trump’s inauguration.

“If we wanted to drink something that funds right-wing strongmen, we’d crack open a bottle of Russian vodka,” said Jens Olsen, a carpenter now replacing all his DeWalt tools with Swedish alternatives. “At least Putin doesn’t want our glaciers.”

A spokesperson for the Salling Group supermarket chain confirmed the removal of Diet Coke and several other American brands, noting that new shelf space would be “devoted to fizzy drinks not produced by maniacs.”

Asked if the move would affect U.S. relations, Trump dismissed it. “The Danes are very emotional people,” he said. “Before I came along, nobody even knew what Diet Coke was. I made it famous. Just like I did with Greenland.”