Pentagon Apologizes for Deleting Civil Rights Heroes, Restores One Jackie Robinson JPEG

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After weeks of backlash over the mass deletion of online content celebrating women, minorities, and other “diverse” historical figures, the Pentagon issued an apology Friday and promised to “fix everything” by restoring a single low-res image of Jackie Robinson to its website.

“We didn’t realize history had so many triggering keywords,” said spokesman Sean Parnell. “But rest assured, we’ve now restored this photo of Jackie with his head slightly cropped off. That’s on us.”

The mass deletions began after Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth launched a Department-wide purge of “DEI propaganda,” which the military carried out using AI software trained to remove any content containing words like “gay,” “female,” or “first.”

The software quickly flagged tributes to the Tuskegee Airmen, WWII Navajo Code Talkers, and every female pilot from the past 80 years. It left untouched a 2018 post titled Top 10 Fighter Jets With Patriotic Paint Jobs.

Despite calls for transparency, Pentagon officials stressed that any restoration effort would be “extremely selective” and subject to approval from a Trump-appointed tech guy named “Steve.”

“We’re committed to preserving the parts of history that don’t feel political,” Parnell added. “Like tanks. And explosions. And that one bald eagle GIF we all love.”

At press time, a webpage honoring the first Black four-star general remained deleted, replaced with a page titled American Heroes: Guys With Guns.