White House Declines to Retrieve Wrongly Deported Father, Suggests Family “Relish the Memories and Move On”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite admitting that Kilmar Abrego Garcia was wrongly deported to a violent Salvadoran prison due to what it called “clerical hiccup,” the Trump administration on Saturday formally declined to take any steps toward returning him.

“Look, we said oops,” said White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt. “Sometimes things fall through the cracks—like receipts, or innocent fathers with legal residency.”

Abrego Garcia, a Maryland sheet metal worker and father of three, had been granted protection from deportation in 2019. That ruling was ignored last month when ICE agents arrested him in an Ikea parking lot and swiftly deported him to El Salvador, where he now sits in a notorious gang-filled prison.

When pressed on whether the administration would comply with a judge’s order to bring him back, officials said the U.S. lacked “any real diplomatic leverage,” despite recently sending DHS Secretary Kristi Noem to that same prison for a photo op.

“We understand the family is grieving,” Leavitt added, “but instead of dwelling, we encourage them to cherish the good times—maybe light a candle, smell a shirt, and remember the better days.”

At press time, the Justice Department was seeking a legal ruling to confirm that deporting someone by accident does not technically count as “wrong.”