Pennsylvania Man Sets Governor’s House Ablaze After Reading Too Many Facebook Memes

HARRISBURG — A Pennsylvania man radicalized by Facebook memes and rage was arrested Sunday after attempting to burn down Governor Josh Shapiro’s residence—with the governor, his family, and two dogs still inside.

Authorities say 38-year-old Cody Balmer scaled a security fence, slipped past troopers, and set a fire using a homemade incendiary device—because nothing says “I hate Biden” like attempted murder during Passover.

Balmer’s online history reportedly includes classic hits like “Biden Stole My Stimulus,” “Hunter’s Laptop Is Running the Government,” and a 2021 post that simply read “You’ll all see.”

“He’s not affiliated with any group,” said one investigator. “Just solo derangement syndrome. The kind that festers in Uncle Ron’s comment section until someone grabs lighter fluid.”

Shapiro and his family escaped safely thanks to state troopers pounding on their doors at 2 a.m. The governor later addressed the attack, saying, “We celebrated freedom from Pharaoh—and then had to flee a guy who thought Biden was a hologram.”

At press time, Balmer was seen asking an attorney whether arson counts as “freedom of expression.”