Trump Declares Abrego Garcia “El Salvador’s Problem” After 12-Second Chat with Bukele

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump formally washed his hands of Kilmar Abrego Garcia on Monday, announcing that the wrongfully deported Maryland resident is now “El Salvador’s problem” following what he described as “a really strong 12-second conversation” with Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele.

The meeting, which took place in the Oval Office, marked the latest twist in the Abrego Garcia saga—a case that has included a Supreme Court ruling, a judicial contempt warning, and at least one Bulls hat misidentified as gang paraphernalia.

Reporters pressed Trump on why his administration continued to defy court orders demanding Abrego Garcia’s return. “We would bring him back,” Trump said, “but President Bukele—very powerful guy, great leader—he says no. So it’s out of our hands. That’s how diplomacy works.”

Attorney General Pam Bondi later clarified that “facilitating” the return would require El Salvador’s permission, which they didn’t get, so technically the U.S. has complied by… asking nicely.

When asked about the lack of evidence tying Abrego Garcia to any gang, Bondi responded, “There was a hat. You don’t wear that hat unless you’re MS-13.”

At press time, Trump proposed sending more “problematic individuals” to Bukele, suggesting “maybe some reporters too, if there’s room in that prison.”