Grim Reaper JD Vance Denies Role in Pope’s Death: “I Just Say Hi, Then People Die”

VATICAN CITY — Vice President JD Vance has issued a firm denial after online memes dubbed him the “Grim Reaper” following the sudden death of Pope Francis—just hours after the two exchanged Easter greetings.

“I’m saddened by the Pope’s passing, but I reject the idea that I am Death incarnate,” Vance told reporters Monday, standing noticeably far from anyone over 70.

The Vice President’s office called the memes “deeply disrespectful,” though failed to explain why Vance reportedly brought a large ornamental scythe into the Pope’s Palace.

Reaction online has been swift and morbid. “We demand he visit Putin next,” said one commenter. “Put him in a room with Rupert Murdoch and see what happens,” said another.

Several world leaders are rumored to be “postponing indefinitely” any direct contact with Vance. “No offense,” one European diplomat told Reuters, “but the optics are terrible. And I’m not ready to go.”

The Vatican has not publicly blamed Vance but did issue a rare spiritual advisory—warning against “uninvited contact with a mortal omen in a navy suit with dark eyeliner.”