Mike Lindell Loses Defamation Case, Appears on RudyTV to Begin Defaming New People

DENVER — After being ordered to pay $2.3 million for defaming a former Dominion Voting Systems employee, MyPillow founder Mike Lindell responded the only way he knows how: by immediately going on Rudy Giuliani’s internet show to defame someone else.

“This is just the beginning,” Lindell said on Rudy TV: Truth Hammer, less than an hour after the verdict. “They wanted me to shut up, and I said, ‘No. I’ve still got names. I’ve still got laminated charts. I’ve still got the receipts from Cracker Barrel in Branson, Missouri.’”

Giuliani, visibly melting under studio lights, nodded along with what appeared to be black motor oil trickling down his sideburns. “Dominion is code for demon,” he mumbled, dabbing his forehead with a subpoena.

Lindell, emboldened by the verdict, doubled down. “They can sue me for millions, but they can’t sue the truth, Rudy. And the truth is: Coomer, Dominion, and possibly the entire night crew at Waffle House are all part of an election coup that started with a cursed USB drive and ends with me broke and yelling.”

He went on to promise even more defamation on his existing platform, Frankspeech, claiming he would launch a new weekly livestream called Treason Tuesdays, co-hosted by a blurry cam photo of Sidney Powell and a guy he met in a Bass Pro parking lot who “knows things.”

“You can sue me, you can cancel my bank accounts, but you can never silence the pillow man,” Lindell declared as Giuliani stared offscreen, possibly hallucinating a sentient Constitution.

At press time, Dominion Voting Systems issued a statement that simply read, “We literally just want to count ballots. Please stop.”