Trump Says MAGA Base ‘Still in Love’ With Him, Despite Deepening Emotional Abuse

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Addressing concerns that his recent flirtation with bombing Iran might upset his America First fanbase, President Trump reassured reporters Wednesday that the MAGA movement remains “deeply, passionately, unconditionally” in love with him, even if they’re crying and punching walls.

“Some of them are mad, yes,” Trump admitted while gesturing toward a new 110-foot flagpole being hoisted behind him. “But that’s what love looks like. Screaming. Confusion. Maybe some betrayal. The best relationships have those. Very passionate.”

The statement came as several of Trump’s longtime allies—Marjorie Taylor Greene, Charlie Kirk, and even the humanoid husk of Steve Bannon—voiced mild objections to Trump’s possible intervention in the Iran-Israel conflict. Trump dismissed their concerns, noting that “true love always survives the occasional war crime.”

“When I said no more forever wars, I meant emotionally. Spiritually. And also, unless I change my mind,” Trump clarified.

Steve Bannon, speaking to a crowded room of somewhere between 11 and 17 people, reluctantly acknowledged that the base might not like Trump’s new foreign policy direction, but “will absolutely still blame it on the Democrats, if it came down to it.”

Trump concluded the day’s remarks with a romantic flourish: “They might not always understand me, but they feel me. They can’t quit me. Even when I drone-strike their dreams, they know I’m doing it for us.”

At press time, Trump was reportedly asking aides whether the phrase “Stockholm Patriotism” was copyrighted.