Trump Fully Turns on Musk: “He’s Always Been Kinda Beta, Frankly”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning escalation of their ongoing breakup saga, President Trump fully turned on Elon Musk this week, dismissing the billionaire as “kinda beta, frankly—always has been.”

“Elon was useful when he boosted DOGE and boosted me,” Trump told reporters Tuesday while standing beside a truck labeled U.S. Space Force: Now Hiring. “But then he starts crying about the bill like a little nerd. I like men who don’t cry about giant budget overhauls.”

The insult comes after Musk criticized Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” calling it “financial heroin with pork,” and threatening to fund primary challengers against its supporters. Trump responded by suggesting Musk might be deported to “whichever place he’s from originally—Wakanda? Probably Wakanda.”

Musk, for his part, appeared to restrain himself. “So tempting to escalate this. So, so tempting,” he posted on X, followed by an AI-generated GIF of Trump eating glue.

Trump upped the ante by claiming Musk only got rich “thanks to subsidies and apartheid inheritance.” He then vowed to replace SpaceX with a “better, stronger, more patriotic” alternative called Space Patriot Freedom Rockets™.

“Elon? More like E-gone,” Trump shrugged. “We’re doing great things now—tremendous things—and he’s just not part of it.”