Trump’s Government Downsizing Approved After Supreme Court Says “Sure, Why Not” for 47th Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what has become a familiar routine, the Supreme Court on Tuesday handed President Trump yet another legal victory—this time allowing him to slash the federal workforce without Congressional approval, agency oversight, or even a functioning plan.

The ruling overrode multiple lower court decisions, numerous warnings from legal scholars, and what one clerk described as “literally just reading the Constitution.”

“The Court finds that the President has very strong authority and should be allowed to continue,” the unsigned majority opinion read.

Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson was the sole dissenter, writing that her colleagues have displayed “an unshakable enthusiasm for enabling Trump to play Constitutional Jenga with a chainsaw.”

The White House praised the ruling as “another major win,” adding that replacing the Department of Energy with “an off-grid YouTuber named Randy” is expected to save millions.

Critics say the Supreme Court has now granted Trump unchecked authority in nearly every domain of government, from immigration to climate policy to which countries we should threaten next.

At press time, the Court was deliberating whether Trump can appoint Don Jr. to the Federal Reserve “just to see what happens.”