Ashli Babbitt’s Family Scores $5 Million and Full Military Funeral Honors; Netflix Eyeing Limited Series Deal

ARLINGTON — Ashli Babbitt’s family just can’t stop winning. After pocketing nearly $5 million in a wrongful death settlement and securing full military funeral honors for the woman killed while crawling through a broken Capitol window, the family may soon be adding Hollywood checks to the pile.

Industry reports suggest Netflix is in “serious talks” to greenlight a limited series chronicling Babbitt’s transformation from Air Force veteran to QAnon folk hero. Working title: Martyr: The Series Nobody Asked For.

Executives are reportedly billing it as ‘the next Tiger King,’ only with more flags, fewer tigers, and notably more Facebook screenshots passed off as drama. One draft script even ends episodes with “conspiracy cliffhangers,” including the fateful moment she decided to believe Democrats were running a satanic pizza parlor.

Critics blasted the idea as a grotesque cash grab, noting the family’s already been compensated far beyond reason. “Imagine storming the Capitol, getting killed, and somehow your family winds up richer than 99% of Americans,” one observer said. “What the hell is wrong with this country?”

At press time, Netflix was reportedly debating whether to cast Gal Gadot as Babbit—or just let Ben Shapiro narrate the whole thing in a solemn tone.