“Congratulations, You’re Deported”: Plainclothes ICE Agents Wait Outside Courtroom Doors

MIAMI — The Trump administration has simplified America’s immigration process: attend your hearing, win your case, get ambushed in the hallway.

Under the new system, plainclothes ICE agents have begun lurking outside courtroom doors, ready to snatch immigrants moments after judges dismiss their cases. The strategy has been hailed by administration officials as “efficient,” “cost-effective,” and “a fun surprise for the family.”

“Justice doesn’t end at the courtroom door,” one ICE official explained. “It ends wherever we feel like it. Preferably in handcuffs.”

Immigration advocates say the ambushes shred what little due process remains, turning legal compliance into a liability. “These people are literally doing everything right,” said one attorney. “They follow the rules, they show up for court—and that’s exactly how ICE finds them.”

Trump has praised the tactic, reportedly calling it “a genius idea—very smart, very sneaky, a real crowd-pleaser—except for the crowd screaming in Spanish.”

Critics argue the hallway ambushes will terrify people from even showing up to court. ICE officials countered that empty courtrooms are “a win-win,” saving time, paper, and the burden of pretending America still has a legal system.