Democrats Bet Entire Comeback on American Public Suddenly Paying Attention
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Emboldened by a wave of blind optimism, Democratic leaders announced this week that they are “all in” on using Trump’s recently passed Big Beautiful Bill as the rallying cry for a nationwide comeback—assuming the American public still remembers who passed it and why they can no longer afford insulin.
“This is our moment,” said DNC Chair Ken Martin, unveiling a massive summer strategy centered around bus tours, vigils, and “just the tiniest bit of civic memory.” He added, “All we need is for voters to connect the dots between losing their Medicaid and the guy with the gold toilet who signed the bill.”
Polling shows the bill is broadly unpopular—yet Trump remains widely supported, buoyed by FOX News’ 24/7 coverage blaming the cuts on “Biden-era leftovers” and “woke socialist policies.”
“If you’re poor now, that’s because of the Democrats—just look at them, they’re poor too,” said FOX News host Jesse Watters, nodding towards an image of a homeless man in a tattered Obama HOPE shirt.
Still, Democrats remain hopeful. “We believe in the American people,” said Rep. Jamie Raskin. “Yes, they forgot who started the Iraq War, the housing crisis, and their Netflix password—but maybe this time they’ll remember who gutted their food stamps.”
The campaign’s new slogan, “Republicans Did This, We Swear” is set to launch just as soon as voters start paying attention… maybe.