Democrats Force Full Reading of Trump’s Bill, Confirm It’s ‘The Purge’ With Pie Charts

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After forcing a full reading of Trump’s colossal budget bill, Senate Democrats confirmed it was less a fiscal plan and more a heavily charted murder manual aimed at the poor.

“What they’re pushing as ‘policy’ turns out to be a color-coded roadmap to human misery,” said Sen. Gary Peters, holding up a laminated graph labeled Estimated Deaths by Quarter.

At 940 pages, the bill slashes Medicaid, SNAP, and housing assistance, while locking in tax cuts for billionaires. A pie chart on page 212 simply reads: “Don’t Get Sick.”

“They’ve monetized despair,” muttered Sen. Bernie Sanders, staring at a sidebar labeled ROI on Preventable Deaths. “This isn’t a budget—it’s a sequel to Saw.

Republicans applauded the transparency.

“Finally, a bill with some guts,” said Sen. Rick Scott, who praised the inclusion of a “work-for-insulin” pilot program.

Vice President JD Vance hailed it as “a masterpiece of wealth transfer,” adding that “Trump’s really itching to sign it for his friends…”

Democrats are continuing their all-night amendment push, including a last-ditch effort to add a section titled Please God No. So far, Republicans have tabled it.

President Trump later posted “THE PURGE BUT SMART!!” on Truth Social, followed by a slow clap GIF of a James Bond villain.

According to the CBO, the bill adds $3.3 trillion to the deficit, or roughly one fortified luxury bunker per US billionaire.

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