‘Free Speech’ Means Repeating ‘Gulf of America,’ White House Declares — AP Journalists Now Enemy of the State

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Trump administration escalated its war on reality Friday by officially branding the Associated Press a “hostile ideological threat” after the wire service continued using the term Gulf of Mexico, defying the president’s recent decree to rename it Gulf of America.

“This isn’t about censorship,” insisted Deputy Chief of Staff Taylor Budowich, standing behind a podium flanked by two heavily armed interns. “It’s about national security. The AP is spreading dangerously outdated geography. If they’ll lie about oceans, what else are they hiding?”

Effective immediately, AP journalists have been banned from Air Force One, the Oval Office, and “any rooms in the White House containing maps, globes, or educational posters.” Any AP employee found referring to the Gulf by its “pre-corrected name” will be quietly placed on a no-fly list and monitored for additional signs of lexical disloyalty.

Behind closed doors, White House officials are reportedly debating whether the AP qualifies as a domestic extremist group. One internal memo describes the outlet as “radical, cartographic, and unwilling to evolve.”

“They’re not just journalists anymore,” Trump warned. “They’re rogue agents of Mexican influence. They think they can call our gulf whatever they want. Not under my administration.”

Sources say the Department of Homeland Security has quietly placed several AP staffers on a watchlist codenamed Operation Deep Current, citing their “suspicious devotion to facts” and “un-American fidelity to international naming conventions.”