“I’ve Done Enough Damage”: Elon Musk Resigns From DOGE, Returns to Ruining Twitter

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Elon Musk abruptly resigned Wednesday from the Trump administration’s Department of Government Efficiency, ending a short-lived experiment in applying meme logic to federal governance.

Musk, who spent months slashing agencies and bragging about “efficiency through chaos,” announced his exit on X with a four-word farewell: “I’ve done enough damage.” Minutes later, he live-streamed himself launching a flamethrower at a stack of Social Security forms.

The billionaire’s government tenure began with promises to cut $2 trillion in spending, but those goals were steadily downgraded to $1 trillion, $150 billion, and finally “whatever’s left in NPR’s couch cushions.” Insiders say Musk grew tired of defending a bill that ballooned deficits, making his efficiency crusade seem pointless.

With DOGE now rudderless, administration officials say they’ll “reevaluate the mission” or “just rename it something even dumber.”

Musk has already pivoted back to his primary obsession: spending hours scrolling X, zooted out of his mind. “Washington was boring,” he wrote. “I missed trolling random accounts at 3 a.m. on ketamine…”