Judge Blocks Trump’s Plan to Send National Guard to Chicago Until Someone Explains What the Hell They’d Actually Be Doing There

CHICAGO — A federal judge on Thursday temporarily blocked the Trump administration’s latest “law and order” stunt, after Justice Department lawyers were unable to describe what, exactly, the National Guard was supposed to be doing in Chicago besides “looking official.”

U.S. District Judge April Perry, visibly exhausted from hours of circular answers, finally asked the DOJ’s attorney the question on everyone’s mind: “What the hell would they actually be doing here?” The attorney reportedly shuffled his papers, took a long sip of water, and replied, “Uh… protecting freedom?”

The courtroom transcript shows Perry pressing the administration for any evidence of rebellion, an uprising, or even mild rowdiness—receiving only vague references to “signs of unrest.” When the government lawyer admitted he didn’t know if the troops would be armed, Perry issued the restraining order “to prevent further embarrassment to the Constitution.”

Illinois Governor JB Pritzker celebrated the decision, writing, “Donald Trump is not a king—and definitely not a project manager.”

Meanwhile, the White House blasted the ruling, claiming the judge “failed to respect the President’s constitutional right to make things up as he goes.”