Judge Tosses Trump’s 85-Page NYT Lawsuit for Reading Like “Unauthorized Biography of Himself”

ST. PETERSBURG — A federal judge on Friday dismissed Donald Trump’s $15 billion lawsuit against The New York Times, ruling the 85-page complaint was “less legal argument, more unauthorized autobiography.”

In a withering four-page order, U.S. District Judge Steven Merryday described the filing as “a scrapbook of grievances stitched together with faint legal glue,” noting the first actual defamation claim didn’t appear until page 80.

“By the time I reached a cause of action,” Merryday wrote, “I had already endured a detailed recounting of the plaintiff’s ‘meteoric fame’ prior to The Apprentice, three anecdotes about steak sales, and an unprovoked review of a 1994 Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous segment. The Federal Rules don’t require me to read a personal memoir disguised as a lawsuit.”

The judge gave Trump 28 days to submit a “professional, dignified” version capped at 40 pages, adding, “Conciseness is not optional.”

Trump blasted the decision on Truth Social, insisting his suit was “a PERFECT legal document—a masterpiece of my greatness BEFORE TV.” He vowed an appeal “even if it has to be 200 pages this time.”

Times editors thanked the court for “safeguarding America from legal malpractice,” adding that they look forward to “defending reality in fewer than 40 pages.”