No Birthright for You: Trump Declares Being Born ‘Not a Legal Strategy’

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a sweeping new immigration policy, President Donald Trump has declared that birthright citizenship will no longer be granted to babies born on U.S. soil, calling the practice “the most pathetic legal loophole in history.”

“Just because you’re born here doesn’t mean you belong here,” Trump told reporters while gesturing toward a photo of a newborn swaddled in a Border Patrol blanket. “These tiny people are sneaking into our country by being born. It’s disgusting.”

Under the new executive order, citizenship will only be granted to infants whose parents are already U.S. citizens—a move critics say directly violates the 14th Amendment.

Legal experts widely condemned the move as unconstitutional and cruel. But Republican lawmakers rushed to support the measure. “It’s time we stop being soft on newborns,” said Arizona Rep. Andy Biggs. “They’ve had it too easy for too long.”

When pressed about the ethics of revoking rights from infants, Trump brushed it off. “Look, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: just being born isn’t good enough anymore. You want to be American? Try being born rich.”