USDA Clarifies SNAP Policy: Food for the Poor Must Be Returned, Preferably in Its Original Packaging November 9, 2025November 9, 2025
Researchers Confirm Entire Internet Now 66% MAGA Propaganda, 33% People Saying “That’s Not True” November 8, 2025
Federal Judge Orders Trump to Feed the Poor; DOJ Appeals Ruling to 6th Judicial Circle of Hell November 6, 2025
Corporate Dems Warn Mamdani Victory Could Lead to Dangerous Trend of Liberal Candidates Representing Voters Instead of Donors November 5, 2025
Trump Defends Military Buildup in Venezuela: “We Won’t Be Blowing Them Up Forever—We Just Want the Oil” November 4, 2025November 4, 2025
Top 10 U.S. Billionaires’ Wealth Grew by $698 Billion the Past Year, Continuing America’s Proud Two-Party Tradition of Funnel-Up Economics November 3, 2025November 6, 2025
Sliwa Compares Himself to Braveheart, Says He’ll “Die on His Sword” To Stop Mamdani From Making Rent Affordable November 2, 2025November 2, 2025
Trump Orders Pentagon to “Liberate Nigeria” After Hearing There Are Christians There November 1, 2025November 1, 2025
Fox News Accuses Judge Of Performing Liberal Necromancy After Halloween Display Brings Facts Back From The Dead October 31, 2025October 31, 2025
“You Can Do It!” — Rob Schneider Motivates Students to “Get In On the MAGA Grift” During Turning Point Memorial Tour October 29, 2025November 6, 2025
“We Just Do What Trump Tells Us To Do”: ICE Defies Federal Judge, Deports U.S. Citizen Anyway October 28, 2025October 28, 2025
Pick-Up Diplomacy: Japan Rolls Out Gold F-150 and Patriotic Toyotas to Impress Trump October 27, 2025October 27, 2025
Randy Fine Demands DOJ Investigation of Mamdani’s Path to Citizenship, “And Maybe His Spotify Playlists Too” October 26, 2025
Palantir CEO Defends Support of Trump, Citing Historic Growth in the Surveillance State Sector October 25, 2025
Food Stamps Could Vanish Nov. 1 — But Don’t Worry, We’re Still Blowing Up Drug Boats October 24, 2025
Trump’s New South America Strategy: Diplomacy Didn’t Work, So Let’s Try Explosives October 23, 2025October 23, 2025
Pentagon Replaces Actual Press With Influencers, Pillow Guys, and Whatever the Hell ‘Timcast’ Is October 22, 2025October 22, 2025
Pardoned Jan. 6 “Freedom Fighter” Arrested After Texting Plan to Kill Hakeem Jeffries October 21, 2025
Millions March Against the Reign of King Spray Tan — Protesters Demand Return to Regular, Boring Democracy October 18, 2025
Young Republicans To Rebrand As “The Even Younger Republicans,” Claim No Relation October 17, 2025October 17, 2025
Ex-Intelligence Officials Release Report on America’s Authoritarian Drift — Trump Orders DOJ to “Arrest Whoever Signed That Thing” October 16, 2025
Trump Says ‘the Devil’s Ideology’ Killed Charlie Kirk, Urges Americans to ‘Pray the Woke Away’ October 15, 2025October 15, 2025
MTG Calls Republican Men in Congress ‘Weak’ — Mike Johnson Immediately Forms Prayer Circle to Recover October 14, 2025
Trump Honors Christopher Columbus With 30-Foot Statue of Him Punching a Liberal Arts Professor October 13, 2025
Study Finds Jesse Watters Spends More Time Complimenting Stephen Miller Than His Own Wife October 12, 2025
Trump Warns Of Leftist Insurrection — Experts Confirm It’s Just People Asking For Affordable Healthcare October 11, 2025October 11, 2025
U.S. Airports Flooded With Kristi Noem Video On Endless Loop, Officials Promise It’ll Stop Once Democrats Apologize October 10, 2025October 10, 2025
Judge Blocks Trump’s Plan to Send National Guard to Chicago Until Someone Explains What the Hell They’d Actually Be Doing There October 9, 2025
Stephen Miller Says It’s the Media’s “Patriotic Duty” To Pretend an Insurrection Exists October 8, 2025
GOP Furious After MTG Suggests Helping Americans on Healthcare Might Actually Be Popular October 7, 2025
Fox News Confirms: Democrats Now Liable for All Crimes Committed by People With Wi-Fi October 6, 2025October 7, 2025
Trump Hails Historic Coal Sale, Says “It’s Like Beanie Babies, But Dirtier” October 4, 2025October 5, 2025
Trump Warns Hamas To Accept Deal by Sunday — Or Face The Wrath Of Caps Lock October 3, 2025October 3, 2025
Project 2025 Officially Moves From ‘Conspiracy Theory’ to ‘Shutdown Strategy’ — Nation Wonders What’s Next on the Menu October 2, 2025October 2, 2025
Shutdown Escalates as Federal Websites Load With “Blame the Radical Left” Banners October 1, 2025October 1, 2025
