“Hope You Can Swim!”: Lindsey Graham Proudly Becomes First Senator to Mock a Humanitarian Aid Mission June 2, 2025September 15, 2025
Trump Shares Claim Biden Is Robot, Vows to “Pull Off His Skin Live on Pay-Per-View” June 1, 2025September 16, 2025
‘So What If You Die?’: Ernst Delivers Most Honest GOP Health Care Pitch Yet May 31, 2025September 14, 2025
“Congratulations, You’re Deported”: Plainclothes ICE Agents Wait Outside Courtroom Doors May 30, 2025September 14, 2025
“TACO Theory” Gains Steam: Trump Tariff Threats Now America’s Top Export May 29, 2025September 14, 2025
“I’ve Done Enough Damage”: Elon Musk Resigns From DOGE, Returns to Ruining Twitter May 28, 2025September 14, 2025
Chrisley Knows Best — About Tax Evasion: Trump Grants Pardon to Reality TV Fraudsters May 27, 2025September 30, 2025
“Happy Memorial Day to All, Even the Scum”: Trump Turns Tribute for Fallen Soldiers Into Personal Grievance Dump May 26, 2025September 14, 2025
Trump: “This War Belongs to Putin, Zelenskyy, and Biden — I’m Just Here to Save America” May 25, 2025September 14, 2025
Trump Thanks Top $TRUMP Investors for “Believing in Me, Not Your Money” May 24, 2025September 16, 2025
Mike Johnson Emerges From Prayer Room Spiritually Renewed, Ready to Gut Medicaid and SNAP May 23, 2025September 30, 2025
House Passes ‘Big Brutal Bill’: Feed the Rich, Cage the Immigrants, Starve the Rest May 22, 2025September 14, 2025
South African President Politely Watches Trump’s Propaganda Video, Responds With Legendary Chill May 21, 2025September 14, 2025
Trump Calls Springsteen a “Dried Out Prune,” Accidentally Roasts Himself in Process May 20, 2025September 16, 2025
Sanders Agrees Democrats Keep Rigging Primaries, DNC Promises to Consider Feedback for Next Rigged Primary May 19, 2025September 14, 2025
Trump Admin Applauds New Exchange Program: Study Here, Get Deported, Study the Consequences Abroad May 18, 2025September 14, 2025
Republicans Stall Trump’s Bill, Say Waiting Until 2029 to Kick People Off Medicaid Is “Too Generous” May 16, 2025September 13, 2025
Trump Breaks Isolationist Streak the Second He Sees Gold Domes, Arabian Stallions, and Oil Money May 15, 2025September 30, 2025
Trump Blames Europe for High Drug Prices Caused Entirely by U.S. System May 14, 2025September 13, 2025
Ed Martin Claims Biden Pardons “Need Scrutiny” — Forgets Trump Pardoned Every White-Collar Criminal in America May 13, 2025September 13, 2025
Trump on $400M Qatari Jet: “I’d Be Stupid Not to Accept a Bribe This Nice” May 12, 2025September 13, 2025
White South African Refugees Get Open Arms, Brown Refugees Get Open Air Detention Camps May 11, 2025September 13, 2025
Half of Young Democrats Embarrassed to Be American; Other Half Too Busy Apologizing for Existing May 10, 2025September 13, 2025
Newark Mayor Arrested at Detention Center After Trying to Verify It’s Not a Hellhole May 9, 2025September 13, 2025
MAGA Demands Old Testament Pope Who’s Less Into That ‘Love Thy Neighbor’ Crap May 8, 2025September 16, 2025
Europe Reacts to Trump’s Anti-DEI Demand: “No Thanks, But Best of Luck” May 7, 2025September 13, 2025
Trump Officials Rage at Questions About Abrego Garcia: “Why Can’t You Just Thank Us for Deporting Him?” May 6, 2025September 13, 2025
NFL Commissioner Regrets Not Taking Bathroom Break Before Trump’s Alcatraz Monologue Begins May 5, 2025September 30, 2025
Trump Dodges Due Process Question: “I’m Not a Lawyer, I Just Sign Stuff” May 4, 2025September 13, 2025
White House Celebrates Historic $1B Debt Forgiveness — For Convicted Fraudsters Only May 3, 2025September 16, 2025
Tom Homan Reminds America: “Due Process Is for Patriots, Not People Who Inconvenience ICE” May 2, 2025September 13, 2025
Whitmer Condemned for Not Jumping into Lake Michigan to Avoid Being on Camera with Trump May 1, 2025September 13, 2025
Cabinet Meeting or North Korean-Style Loyalty Ritual? Even Ann Coulter Can’t Tell Anymore April 30, 2025September 12, 2025
Hegseth Cancels “Woke” Program Personally Signed by Trump, Co-Written by Noem, and Praised by Ivanka April 29, 2025September 30, 2025
Democrats Clarify They’re Not “Doing Nothing,” They’re “Strategically Waiting” April 27, 2025September 12, 2025
Trump’s Cabinet Ordered to Submit Weekly Costume Changes, Action Shots, and Loyalty Oaths April 26, 2025September 12, 2025
Trump Declares War on ActBlue, Judges, Gravity, and Any Other Force That Defies Him April 25, 2025September 12, 2025
DNC Chair Moves to Ban Youth, Change, or Hope from Democratic Primaries April 24, 2025September 12, 2025
