Christianity Declared “Oppressed Religion” by Government Run Entirely by Christians April 23, 2025September 12, 2025
Judge Issues Strongly Worded Order, Trump Admin Responds with Strongly Worded Shrug April 22, 2025September 12, 2025
Grim Reaper JD Vance Denies Role in Pope’s Death: “I Just Say Hi, Then People Die” April 21, 2025September 30, 2025
Trump Tariffs Raise Baby Costs as GOP Wonders Why Millennials Refuse to Breed Like Mice April 20, 2025September 30, 2025
Pardoned Jan. 6 Rioters Now Charging Speaking Fees, Booking GOP Dinners, Living the Dream April 19, 2025September 12, 2025
Acting ICE Director Says Mass Deportation Will Be “As Efficient as Amazon, But with More Razor Wire” April 18, 2025September 30, 2025
Trump Now Targeting Civil Groups: “I Don’t See My Name on Any of the Buildings” April 17, 2025September 12, 2025
Harvard Refuses Trump Demands, Continues “Reckless” Tradition of Thinking for Itself April 16, 2025September 12, 2025
MTG Hosts Town Hall, Declares It a Success After Most of Town Removed from Hall April 15, 2025September 12, 2025
Trump Declares Abrego Garcia “El Salvador’s Problem” After 12-Second Chat with Bukele April 14, 2025September 12, 2025
Pennsylvania Man Sets Governor’s House Ablaze After Reading Too Many Facebook Memes April 13, 2025September 11, 2025
Trump Admin Argues Over Semantics While Wrongfully Deported Father Sits in Foreign Prison April 12, 2025September 11, 2025
Trump Posts Stock Tip, Delays Tariffs, Makes Cronies Rich — Democrats Respond by Promising Strongly Worded Email April 10, 2025September 11, 2025
Trump Hits 90-Day Snooze on Tariffs: “We’ll Destroy the Economy Again After This Nap” April 9, 2025September 11, 2025
Markets Crash as Trump Introduces Quantum Tariff Theory: “They Exist in All States Until Observed” April 8, 2025September 30, 2025
Navy Admiral Fired for Supporting Women’s Equality: “We Can’t Have Empathy on a Warship,” Says Hegseth April 7, 2025September 11, 2025
Lutnick Says Jobs Are Coming Back: “The Screws Will Be Tightened by Robots, But Americans Will Be Nearby — Just in Case” April 6, 2025September 16, 2025
White House Declines to Retrieve Wrongly Deported Father, Suggests Family “Relish the Memories and Move On” April 5, 2025September 11, 2025
Trump Escapes to Golf Course as Tariff Fallout Spreads: “I Call This the Trickle-Down Tee-Off” April 4, 2025September 11, 2025
Trump Compares Tariffs to Surgery While Hosting Saudi-Backed Golf Event: “The Patient Is Screaming, Which Means It’s Working” April 3, 2025September 11, 2025
Liberation Day: Trump Recites Gilded Age Lore, Then Tariffs the Entire Globe April 2, 2025September 11, 2025
Democratic Party Pulls All-Nighter to Pretend It’s Awake — With Cory Booker Talking the Entire Time April 1, 2025September 30, 2025
Mass Tesla Protest Fails to Dampen Musk’s Spirits: “Nothing Says Success Like 277 Angry Mobs” March 31, 2025September 11, 2025
Trump Says He’s “Not Joking” About Third Term, Vows to Keep Running Until America Collapses or He Does March 30, 2025September 11, 2025
White House to Replace African American History Museum With “Founding Fathers Funplex” March 29, 2025September 11, 2025
Frozen and Alone, JD Vance Describes Greenland Trip as “Spiritual… in a Jesus-in-the-Arctic Kind of Way” March 28, 2025September 30, 2025
Musk Launches Million Dollar Sweepstakes Just Days Before Election, Says “It’s Like Powerball, But For Voting” March 27, 2025September 10, 2025
White House Says Columbia’s Cancer Research Can Resume Once They “Stop Being Woke About Gaza” March 26, 2025September 10, 2025
12-Year Low in Consumer Confidence Met With 12-Minute Laugh from Trump Economists March 25, 2025September 10, 2025
White House Says Yemen Attack Was “Deeply Coordinated” — Especially With Editor of The Atlantic March 24, 2025September 10, 2025
No Trial, No Problem: Border Czar Says Dartboard Method Is “Faster Than Due Process and Way More Fun” March 23, 2025September 9, 2025
Pentagon Apologizes for Deleting Civil Rights Heroes, Restores One Jackie Robinson JPEG March 22, 2025September 9, 2025
Border Patrol Unveils New Tourism Slogan: “What Happens in Vegas… Could Get You Detained” March 21, 2025September 9, 2025
Trump Guts Education Department with Group of Field Trip Kids Who Thought They Were Visiting a Museum March 20, 2025September 30, 2025
Democrats Split on Whether to Oppose Trump Now or After He Finishes Dismantling Government March 19, 2025September 9, 2025
France Tries to Reclaim Statue of Liberty — Trump Threatens to Replace It with Bronze Bust of Marjorie Taylor Greene March 18, 2025September 30, 2025
Diet Coke Pulled from Danish Shelves Amid Trump Boycott: “It Had a Fascist Aftertaste Anyway” March 17, 2025September 30, 2025
Trump Admin Ignores Judge’s Order to Turn Planes Around: “They’re Basically in El Salvador Already” March 16, 2025September 9, 2025
Trump Declares VOA “Radical,” Demands All Foreign News Be Approved by Hannity March 15, 2025September 9, 2025
