Pardoned Jan. 6 Rioters Now Charging Speaking Fees, Booking GOP Dinners, Living the Dream

JACKSON — Once known for storming barriers and assaulting democracy, many of Donald Trump’s freshly pardoned Jan. 6 rioters are now storming the Republican speaking circuit—with hefty appearance fees and merch tables near the pulled pork.

The newly absolved “J6ers” are now free to rewrite history—and charge for it. Republican groups from Tennessee to North Carolina are lining up to book the ex-cons for speeches, selfies, and stirring tales of how they bravely trespassed on federal property while wearing tactical hoodies.

“They’ve suffered so much,” said one event organizer in Michigan, wiping a tear as a speaker recounted being in jail long enough to miss three episodes of Yellowstone. “The least we can do is cover their $3,000 appearance fee.”

Former Proud Boys, misdemeanor trespassers, and full-on officer punchers now draw standing ovations, often introduced with reverent phrases like “warrior for liberty” or “American martyr with a GoFundMe link.”

Critics argue the trend rewards criminal behavior. Supporters say it’s just patriots monetizing their trauma.

One club president summed the appeal of J6ers up: “Why book Ben Shapiro when you can book someone who actually maced a cop? At a cheaper rate, too…”