“TACO Theory” Gains Steam: Trump Tariff Threats Now America’s Top Export

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Economists confirmed Thursday that the United States’ most reliable export under President Donald Trump isn’t cars, corn, or even weapons—it’s empty threats of crippling tariffs.

The phenomenon, dubbed “TACO theory”—short for “Trump Always Chickens Out”—has gained traction among analysts after Trump’s tenth tariff bluff in just a few months. Markets now brace for a predictable cycle: Trump declares a 125% tariff, the Dow plunges, foreign leaders panic, and within days the tariff is paused with no explanation.

“America used to export products,” said trade analyst Carla Jensen. “Now we export anxiety.”

Trump dismissed the TACO nickname as “nasty,” insisting, “Sometimes I follow through, sometimes I don’t. That’s called strength.” He then hinted at a “massive” new tariff on Italian wine before quickly assuring reporters it would be “very tiny, maybe not even real.”

Business owners, whiplashed by the on-again, off-again threats, are reportedly holding back investments, unsure if tomorrow will bring tariffs on cars, dolls, or possibly clouds.

For now, tariff threats remain America’s top export—abundant, renewable, and “100% negotiable,” according to Trump.