Trump Accuses Venezuela of Stealing U.S. Oil, Land, and Assets, Confirming He’s Entered the ‘Just Give Me Your Stuff’ Stage of Imperialism

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump escalated tensions with Venezuela Tuesday night by claiming the country had “previously stolen” America’s oil, land, and other assets—an accusation that raised questions about whether he understands borders, ownership, or the basic mechanics of theft on a continental scale.

The statement arrived alongside Trump’s announcement of a “TOTAL AND COMPLETE BLOCKADE” of all sanctioned tankers entering or leaving Venezuela, part of an expanding campaign that already includes blowing up boats in international waters and stationing the largest U.S. naval force in South America “ever assembled,” a claim Pentagon officials declined to confirm.

Foreign policy experts noted that Venezuela having oil does not, in fact, mean it stole oil from the United States. The “land” portion of Trump’s allegation proved even harder to decipher, unless the president is genuinely suggesting that Venezuela detached a piece of the United States and sailed off with it sometime in the night.

Venezuela’s government responded by accusing Trump of attempting to seize its natural resources, a charge that became significantly more convincing when the White House declined to explain what, exactly, the U.S. is trying to “get back.”

Meanwhile, Susie Wiles, Trump’s chief of staff, provided the clearest window into the strategy so far, admitting that Trump simply wants to “keep blowing up boats until Maduro cries uncle.”