Trump Acquitted Yet Again In America’s Ongoing Test To See How Much Crime One Man Can Commit Without Consequence

ATLANTA — Donald Trump has once again slipped through the justice system like a greased mythological creature, this time courtesy of Georgia’s decision to drop the 2020 election interference case.

The decision comes despite Trump spending nearly an hour pressuring Georgia’s top election official in January 2021 to “find” the exact number of votes required to flip the state. The call was just one piece of a wider plan that included fake electors and sustained pressure on state officials to erase Biden’s election win.

Georgia’s new prosecutor ultimately concluded that actually holding Trump accountable would take too long, clash with his schedule as president, and possibly violate the nation’s unspoken rule that crimes committed by Donald J. Trump are, by definition, legally untouchable.

Legal experts noted that the dismissal fits a pattern: Trump breaks the law in broad daylight, the courts move slowly, and then everyone pretends the clock simply ran out.

Trump celebrated immediately, calling the case a “witch hunt,” a “corrupt hoax,” and proof that “LAW and JUSTICE have prevailed”—an impressive amount of self-congratulation for a man caught on tape begging for votes that didn’t exist.

For now, the national experiment continues—Trump has once again expanded the known limits of how much crime a single man can commit without consequence—and America still hasn’t reached the ceiling.