Trump Blames Europe for High Drug Prices Caused Entirely by U.S. System

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump blamed the EU Monday for America’s sky-high prescription drug costs, insisting that “brutal European nations” forced Big Pharma to gouge Americans.

“Europe made our drug companies do bad things,” Trump said, moments before defending those same drug companies as “the best, very good people.” He then signed an executive order to punish Europe for what experts say is entirely America’s fault.

In reality, U.S. drug prices are driven sky-high by its own fractured system of pharmaceutical middlemen, patent games, and insurance negotiations—the same system Trump has spent years defending.

“Europe negotiates as one buyer. We negotiate as 300 million confused people yelling into separate phone lines,” said one health policy analyst. “The result is predictable: we pay three times more for the same pills, then complain about Europe.”

Trump’s plan ties U.S. drug costs to the lowest international prices, though analysts say it’s mostly symbolic—like “screaming at Belgium while cutting checks to Pfizer.”

Meanwhile, American pharmaceutical executives celebrated the news by raising prices again—this time blaming Canada.