Trump Claims D.C. Shooting Proves His Guard Deployment Was “Too Effective,” Says Suspect Lashed Out Due to “Crime Withdrawal”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump responded to yesterday’s National Guard shooting by confidently diagnosing the suspect with “crime withdrawal.” In a Thanksgiving address from Mar-a-Lago, Trump said the gunman only opened fire because his administration had made Washington D.C. “so safe” that criminals were starting to have “cravings.”

“It’s like when you take candy away from a baby,” Trump said. “Except the candy is crime, and the baby is a 29-year-old man who drove 2,700 miles with a revolver.”

The administration responded in its usual fashion—by announcing the deployment of 500 additional Guardsmen—apparently convinced that increasing the number of armed troops would soothe anyone already furious about the presence of armed troops.

While Trump blamed Biden’s “unvetted” Afghan resettlement program for the shooting, records show it was his own administration that approved the suspect’s asylum earlier this year—a detail Trump ignored in favor of praising the Guard’s crackdown as “historic.”

Critics say the tragedy reflects the simmering threat created by Trump’s sweeping domestic deployments. Trump, however, remained unmoved: “If anything, this proves we should do even more of it.”