Trump Explains Denmark Doesn’t Deserve Greenland Because America Did World War II Better

DAVOS — Speaking before an international audience of world leaders, President Trump explained that Denmark does not deserve to retain control of Greenland, citing America’s superior performance in World War II as decisive evidence.

According to Trump, Denmark “barely fought” in World War II and therefore lacks the credibility required to own something as large and cold as Greenland. Trump described Denmark’s wartime role as “very weak” and “not impressive,” reminding the audience that America “basically won the war.”

“We saved everybody,” Trump said, outlining a historical framework in which World War II was not a collective Allied effort but a solo American achievement followed by decades of insufficient gratitude. “Without us, you’d all be speaking German. Maybe some Japanese. Very confusing languages.”

Trump assured European leaders that he would not use military force to take Greenland, emphasizing that America would rely on its global authority, historical dominance, and “remembering who said no,” instead.

Throughout the speech, the president repeatedly referred to Greenland as Iceland, at one point praising Iceland’s strategic importance while appearing unaware that Iceland is an entirely different country.

Trump concluded by reminding the audience that America’s World War II victory came with long-term benefits, including the right to revisit territorial arrangements whenever it feels like it.

“I’m not saying we’re taking Greenland,” Trump said. “I’m just saying we deserve it more.”