Trump Interrupts Christmas To Remind Nation He Is Still Extremely Online

PALM BEACH — President Donald Trump briefly paused America’s Christmas celebrations Thursday to remind the nation that he remains deeply, aggressively, and spiritually online, delivering a near-constant stream of Truth Social posts throughout the holiday.

Beginning in the early hours of Christmas Day, Trump unleashed what aides described as a “festive but hostile” posting spree, flooding the platform with election grievances, recycled conspiracy theories, immigration fearmongering, and assorted clips of loyal surrogates yelling at the camera. The barrage continued steadily as families opened presents, cooked meals, and quietly chose not to bring him up at the table.

“It was important for the president to remind Americans that while they were celebrating Christmas, he was still posting,” said one administration official. “And posting. And posting. And posting.”

Observers noted that the sheer volume of posts blurred any recognizable holiday message, with Trump mainly using them to feed supporters their daily outrage rations, even as Christmas carols played in the background.

The spree culminated later that evening with an extended, meandering rant about the Epstein files—described by several aides as a “cursed stocking stuffer”—in which Trump managed to wish the country a Merry Christmas while accusing unnamed “sleazebags” of loving Jeffrey Epstein, attending his parties, and betraying him once things got “too HOT.”

By night’s end, Americans reported feeling grateful for time with loved ones, warm meals, and the comforting knowledge that no matter the holiday, the president remains logged in, shitposting through it all.