Trump Orders Texas to “Make Map Great Again,” Demands Five New GOP Seats and Optional Whataburger District

AUSTIN — President Donald Trump has directed Texas Republicans to redraw the state’s congressional map, demanding five new GOP-leaning seats and an optional Whataburger District “to honor Texas culture.”

“This is going to be an incredible map,” Trump boasted. “Nobody’s ever seen districts like this—very strong, very fair, and everybody agrees.” He then held up a Sharpie sketch featuring five new seats and a mysterious burger doodle near Dallas.

Democrats fled the state to block the vote, calling the move a “blatant power grab.” GOP lawmakers shrugged off the walkout, noting, “We’re still gonna vote for the Trump map anyways… but nice try.”

If approved, the new map would give Republicans 30 of Texas’ 38 House seats—a shift experts say could guarantee GOP control of the U.S. House after the 2026 midterms, regardless of national voter trends.

Trump dismissed accusations of rigging: “It’s not rigging when I succeed. That’s just called winning—winning bigly.”