Trump Says Weather “Happened Too Fast to Predict” After Laying Off Everyone Paid to Predict It

KERRVILLE — After flash floods tore through Texas and killed over 100 people, President Trump dismissed concerns that his administration’s sweeping cuts to the National Weather Service played any role.

“No one expected it. Nobody saw it,” Trump told reporters. “The water just came—boom. Like a surprise party, but wet.”

When asked about the hundreds of forecasting jobs eliminated since his return to office, Trump insisted the staff “wasn’t really needed” since weather forecasting is “mostly common sense and apps now anyway.”

Former officials noted that NWS offices across the country are now operating with skeleton crews, some relying on volunteers, interns, and in one case, a golden retriever trained to bark at barometric changes.

In response, White House officials stressed that the tragedy was “unpredictable by nature” and pointed to a new pilot program encouraging citizens to “just look outside more often.” The program largely consists of weather-awareness slogans like “Sniff the air” and “Trust your instincts.”

At press time, Trump assured reporters the flood was under control, noting that “Texas is drying off great—people are telling me it’s the driest they’ve ever felt.”