Trump Texts That He Is “No Longer Thinking Purely of Peace” After Norway Hurt His Feelings

OSLO — President Trump confirmed Sunday that he is “no longer thinking purely of peace” after Norway failed to award him the Nobel Peace Prize, a position he communicated via text message to Norwegian Prime Minister Jonas Gahr Støre and, by extension, the rest of the planet.

According to sources familiar with the exchange, Trump explained that while he had previously been committed to peace as a personal favor to the international community, that mindset was contingent on receiving proper recognition. With that recognition now denied, Trump reportedly felt it was only fair to “pivot to imperialism” instead.

“He was very clear that this was Norway’s decision,” said one European diplomat, speaking on condition of anonymity while rubbing his temples. “Peace was apparently a courtesy. A reversible one.”

Administration officials said the president grew increasingly frustrated upon realizing the Nobel Peace Prize was not automatically granted to world leaders who strongly believe they deserve it. Trump allegedly described the snub as “deeply disrespectful” and “emotionally destabilizing on a global scale.”

European leaders responded with visible confusion, scrambling to determine whether global security policy was now being dictated by a single text. “We were attempting de-escalation,” said one EU official. “Instead, we received a text explaining that peace was off the table due to hurt feelings.”

White House aides stressed that Trump remains open to returning to peace under the right conditions, including retroactive praise, symbolic apologies, or “some kind of trophy situation.”