U.S. Airports Flooded With Kristi Noem Video On Endless Loop, Officials Promise It’ll Stop Once Democrats Apologize

BOSTON — Thousands of travelers say they’ve discovered a new form of air travel trauma this week after the Department of Homeland Security began looping a Kristi Noem video across every major U.S. airport.

The 90-second clip, which restarts every two minutes, greets passengers as they shuffle barefoot through TSA checkpoints. By the fifth replay, witnesses say the phrase “Democrats refuse to fund the government”  begins to echo inside the skull with the persistence of a fire alarm.

At some airports, the looping message has begun to break passengers down in real time. One traveler in Boston tried to crawl under the retractable lane dividers, claiming she could “still hear Kristi Noem in the floor.” Nearby, a woman was seen cradling her newborn, telling bystanders she was “keeping it safe from the TV lady.”

Transportation officials defended the nonstop broadcast, calling it a cost-effective morale initiative. “It’s cheaper than paying TSA employees and helps travelers channel their anger productively,” said a DHS spokesperson, speaking over the sixth consecutive replay.

Federal officials insist the loop will continue “until Democrats take accountability,” or until someone in TSA finally snaps and unplugs every monitor in sight.